An Intentional Year

Starting this blog is rather like walking into a movie already begun....do you turn around and leave faced the onerous task of trying to decipher what has gone on before? Or do you just sit back and enjoy the production, hopeful that the blank spots will be filled in and the film will have other merits?

Too much water under the bridge....I begin where I am....with longevity in my family genes, about half-way (hopefully) through an unremarkable life. Perhaps a mid-life crisis or an imminent empty nest or reconnecting with old friends or a spate of deaths this last year or a scary health incident with my husband has caused me to truly take stock of my life. And what do I see? Not much....I have set out, intending to do great things, but rarely follow through. I am intelligent, curious, creative....a great "idea" person....I have a million ideas and projects and novels and quests and thoughts and pursuits....but at the end of the day, the month, the year, the decade I have nothing tangible to show. Can the quest for perfection be a failing? I think my fear of being less than perfect, writing an unsuccessful novel, not having the perfect career, not having a designer magazine worthy home, has kept me frozen and from participating fully. Fear of failure has kept me on the sidelines of my own life more comfortable with doing nothing  than accomplishing something less than perfect.

Resolutions for the New Year have not been my style in the past...a laundry list of dour dos and don'ts. However, upon reflection I have decided that I will have a theme to my life this year. I resolve to be intentional....about my goals, my time, my relationships, my friendships, my faith, my joy, intentional about my life. To quote Mason Cooley, "Regret for wasted time is more wasted time", so henceforth, I intend to make this life matter....in ways small and in ways larger....but always (hopefully) with consideration and purpose.

Always urged by my family to write, here it is....imperfect amd rough and spontaneous....if I wait to get it all polished, to be worthy of a pulitzer prize, to be deep and amusing and original...it will never happen.

This is my life....I intend to live it to its fullest!